Monday Mantra: Screw Perfection
The less you rely on external cues to determine your self worth, the better chance you have for creating your own healthy and productive world.
I asked many women what irks them the most about them selves. The overwhelming response was guilt and shame from falling short of what society dictates as perfect. Perfectionism is toxic to our self acceptance. Perfectionism requires us to measure up to some hypothetical standard.
Obviously we all know the perfect woman does not exist. Why then do we have angst for falling short of the current definitions of the perfect woman?
Here is a little secret:
We have angst when we don’t accept ourselves.
Let me say that again.
We have angst when we don’t accept ourselves.
Because when we use outside parameters as our measuring sticks we will always fall short. We do better when we measure our progress based on the girl we were yesterday.
The way I see it, self acceptance is a subjective assessment allowing imperfections, and unique characteristics to flourish.
When we accept our selves as we are, outside influences like the scale, and other outward labels, become irrelevant to our happiness.
Gaining self acceptance is a work in progress. It is not like flipping a switch and presto, self acceptance is achieved. Using affirmations can be helpful. Here are some affirmations that I embrace:
I am imperfect, and I am worthy.
I embrace my uniqueness.
I am disciplined.
I am strong.
Explore some affirmations to help with your
personal journey to self acceptance.
Feel free to leave your comments below, and always be grateful and kind to yourself.
Bites Licks Tastes and Feelings …..or The season of Undiscipline
“Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go”~Mooji
The Fourth week of November is official start of the holiday season. It can be a time where our healthy habits are at high risk for being pushed to the dark corners of our mind. Reasons why we abandon our healthy nutrition slash exercise habits are irrelevant. I would argue that they are excuses.
One big contributor to getting away from our fit habits is succumbing to #BLT. BLT stands for Bites Licks and Tastes. BLT’s start out as innocent little actions, that can snowball.
When we practice healthy habits we eat at a table with a napkin in our lap. During meal prep we avoid #BLT.
Cue in Thanksgiving. We find ourselves licking the spoons, tasting the stuffing, you know just to check the seasoning, and sneaking bites of the turkey as it is being carved. An entire meal could be consumed before we even light the candle on the dinning room table.
How about the clean up? More BLT indiscretions even though at this point we are full. I would be lying if I denied falling under the BLT spell.
“Feelings are visitors, let them come and go”~Mooji.
Just because we feel something doesn’t mean we have to act on it. Feeling that the holidays are the only time we get to eat XYZ does not mean we need to bite lick and taste it all. This is a good time to remember that if we want turkey with stuffing and pumpkin pie we can have it any time we want. There will be leftovers, because we do not have to hoard food like a bear going into hibernation.
Waiting to sit and enjoy a holiday dinner at a table with your loved ones makes it special. Have one serving of the foods you want, and leave the rest for leftovers.
And always be grateful and kind.
Recently I concluded my bodybuilding career. Preparing for a bodybuilding competition can be compared to prepping for a wedding day. It is NOT normal fitness. During competition prep, there is an end point, and a goal. That goal being to bring the best ever physique to the stage, conversely in normal fit living there is no end.
I have been approached and discussed show prep with ladies who have said they just want to look show ready. This is dangerous,
I will talk more on that at another time.
The “competition body” is not meant to be sustainable. It is what I call a borrowed body. Why do I bring this up? Because it is analogous to losing weight for an event, only to rebound after the event. Because once a goal is met, the person is lost. Goals expire, but your purpose does not expire. Bodybuilders experience this too just like newlyweds after the wedding and honeymoon. I can vouch for both of these situations. 😉
And so the only lasting goal is your purpose. I have made a commitment to return to my purpose.
What my purpose is not:
- My purpose is not to be stage lean.
- My purpose is to be a fit example to women of all ages.
- My purpose is to be living proof that women can live a healthy enjoyable life, with a strong lean body and mind well
into every decade.
My purpose does not make me live in such a rigid way that I do not enjoy life. Wine and amazing foods are part of my enjoyment. Hello . . . I am Italian and married to a Cuban, therefore we are bred to love great food and drink!
I am ready enjoy that with my husband. Enjoying great food and wine while maintaining a fit moderately lean physique can coexist. The key is to be consistently moderate. The key is NOT to party hearty and then follow up with some crazy restrictive short term plan.That kind of living is exhausting. That kind of living evokes self shame.
Because no one wants to be around a rigid militant dieter who probably is a closet indulger anyway. The challenge is learning to enjoy in moderation. Because consistency is always healthier than extreme restriction followed by extreme indulgence.
Follow me on my journey that has no end. Along the way I will share what works for me. I don’t preach diets. I am not an expert, yet I have 55 years of fit living experience to share. I am not part of any MLM and I do not endorse any particular plan.
I welcome your comments.
Thank you and have a fit day.